So often I come across examples of conversations - be they meetings or presentations - that fail due to lack of a little bit of planning.  This is not to say planning guarantees success, but it certainly limits failure significantly and makes things easier for us when it comes to implementation.  A conversation, especially one with an agenda of issues to discuss or resolve, is so often dependent upon the opening 2 or 3 minutes.  And yet, we often do very little preparation or planning around what I loosely call "Set up".  In other words how we create or generate a climate most favourable to the outcome we want.  "Set up" comprises a number of key elements, that taken together provide a useful strategy to maximise the chance we will achieve our objectives.  They are body language, clarifying expectations, the double thank you's, and mapping possible resistance points.

Body language refers to the simple and well known fact that the majority of peoples ability to understand our meaning is transmitted through non-verbal cues.  For example eye contact, gestures, facial expressions, and verbal indicators (ah huh, OK, mmm etc) that show we are genuinely listening and paying attention.  What is difficult about body language is not so much showing that we like or respect someone, but finding a reason to like or respect them.  In other words if we are having difficulty with someone our frustration, fear, anxiety, anger and the like always comes through in our body language the moment we walk into a room.  So we need to do some work controlling it first.  Second, clarifying expectations.  In other words why, exactly, are we here and, most importantly, what is expected of me?  It may be simple honesty, it may be information, it may be to listen.  Whatever it is, it's important to go through a simple "my role, your role" process, especially when conversations are shrouded in worry, doubt, and that euphemistic "Why are we meeting again?"  Third, are the doube thank you's.  Basically this takes advantage of the primacy and recency effect - the fact that we remember what comes first and last far more than what takes place in the middle.  Show appreciation at the start and at the finish for peoples time and contribution.  This goes a long way and costs very little to give.  The only caveat...make sure it's sincere.  Fourth, do some work mapping out possible points of resistance.  In other words, the grounds on which people may oppose you, your company, or your ideas.  Forewarned is forearmed, and it means that your confidence in your ability to answer difficult questions or curve ball issues is increased if you've given them some thought beforehand.  Four simple tips to help make meetings and conversations more successful.

And finally, remember that just because a meeting or conversation doesn't go your way completely doesn't mean it was a waste.  Every point of contact is an opportunity to reinforce that we are easy to deal with, know our stuff, are unafraid of the hard issues, and are respectful (even when on an opposing side at times).  This adds major credibility to your personal brand and reputation long term.